What I Want to Say to Our Girls...

The world is such a crazy place.  There is so much garbage bombarding each and every one of us.  I worry about our youth.  I especially worry about our girls.  There are several things I want to say to them...

When one the girls said her views on love have changed, she asked what does love mean to us... This is what I said:

"To me love is accepting the person for who they are, encouraging them to be the best they can be, being there for them, not giving up on them, putting their needs first before your own, doing the little things for them to brighten their day... or to help them out. Sometimes it's also telling them "no", or letting them know they are wrong. Love is also saying "I'm sorry" or accepting their apology. Love is not "What are you going to give me or do for me?"... It's "What can I do for you?" It's also realizing nobody is perfect, least of all yourself. Love YOU. ♥"

When one of the girls said "It's like your screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important. That without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you. And when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all the bad stuff back, just so you could have the good♥", this is what I said:

"Actually, others who have gone through it before WOULD understand. They would say, "Just HANG ON. It WILL get better. There IS something better waiting to happen in your life." There are those who would add to it, telling you all of that, plus, "Give it to God. He can, and will, help you through this. He has such an awesome plan for your life!! He will heal your heart." That is what I would say...and never, ever forget how much you are really, truly loved."

I have told our girls, and a few other teenage girls, the following: "Do not settle for someone who you cannot trust. Do not settle for someone who does not see the jewel that you are. Do not settle for someone who is only going to continue to rip your heart in pieces. Do not listen to their bs, their lies, their sweet talk, their promises. Stand strong and turn around and walk away."

I've told the girls to WAIT for that special someone.  I've been crass enough to say "Keep your legs closed".  For those who have already given away their virginity, I've said "Please, don't have sex anymore.  Wait.  Sex is such a beautiful thing and should be reserved for your husband.  Each time you have sex with someone, you BOND with that person.  You have become one with that person.  Then, when the relationship doesn't work out, it's that much harder on you because of that BOND."  If I don't know for sure whether or not they've had sex, I tell them to wait.  I tell them what I've just typed, and I add to it - I tell them once you have had sex, it's hard not to have it again.  It's hard to wait.  It CAN be done, but why put yourself through that?  Also, why put yourself at risk for STD's?  I know they think "I won't get one of those" and "That won't happen to me"... But you might and it can. 

I want our girls to know, that even when it feels as though our heart will never mend, it will. It might take awhile, but it WILL mend.  It is okay to cry. BUT, you cannot wallow in it.  Allow the grieving, then get up and go on.  Do something constructive.  Help someone else.  Exercise.  Something that will help you feel good because you did something good.

I want our girls to know, that even when I don't understand, or I disagree, I am still there for them.  I will love them, I will encourage them, I will share their joys, sorrows, frustrations.  I will fight for them.  I will be the "psycho mom", "psycho step-mom", "psycho substitute mom", for them OR to them, depending on the situation....(lol).  I want them to know that they can come to me with anything, and I do mean ANYTHING.  If it's something really stupid that they have done, I might yell, (simply because that would probably be my first reaction - I'm working on that and God is working with me), BUT, then I will be reasonable.  It doesn't mean I love them less, it means that I'm human.  We will work on it together.  Somehow.

I want our girls to know, that even when people fail them, and everyone fails someone at some time or another, God is ALWAYS there.  He NEVER fails us.  He is our comfort, our strength, our peace, our help, our protector, our provider.  I want them to know that God has a  plan and a purpose for each one of them.  He has said so in His Word: 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Most of all, I want our girls to know they are LOVED, BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, AMAZING, PRECIOUS.  Not just to us.  But also to God.  Whether they believe in God or not, He believes in them.  And I believe in them too.

I AM BLESSED.

KEEP SMILING!! :)