Just a note about Jesus

JOHN 3:36 "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them"..... JAMES 2:18-20 18 "But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. 20 You foolish person,... do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless."
These don't contradict each other. There are many people who believe in Jesus, but they reject Him by their actions/lifestyle. We can "believe" all we want to, but what good will it do at the final judgement? Not one iota.
JOHN: 14:15 “If you love me, keep my commands."
We can "do all the right things", follow His commands, but if our heart is not devoted to Him, then it does not do one bit of good. The key word is: LOVE. We have to have a relationship with Jesus first and foremost. Then, BECAUSE we love Him, we will WANT show that love to Him by following and obeying Him.

How do we have a relationship with Jesus?  We spend time with Him.  How?  We read His Word.  We pray.  We STUDY His Word.  We listen to sermons. 

Is having a relationship with Jesus easy?  Is having any relationship easy?  The key difference between a relationship with Jesus and a relationship with another person is that Jesus will NEVER fail you.  Jesus is ALWAYS there for you.  Jesus will ALWAYS love you. You can't say that about anyone else.  Jesus will also NEVER push you into a relationship with Him, but He is ALWAYS holding out His hand, waiting for you to grab hold of it.  It is YOUR choice.  You have to make the conscious effort every second, every minute, every hour, every day to follow Him.

But remember, if you fail, if you sin, there is an answer:  1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
I AM BLESSED!!
Keep Smiling!! :)

Chauffer

Moms are very often chauffers.  I have been chauffering my children all over the place "forever".  Of course, now it's just my youngest daughter.... 
For a period of about one year, I was a chauffer to my step-daughter(s).  Originally it was just the one step-daughter.  Then it ended up being both step-daughters.  I mainly took them to work and picked them up from work.  Occasionally a doctor's visit was thrown in.  It used up a lot of gas and it put a lot of miles on my car.  I lost sleep doing this, therefore, I was sleepy a lot.  Sometimes I was even sleepy when driving home at night. 
BUT!  Being their chauffer meant I spent time with them.  A lot of the time it was one on one time.  We would talk about anything and everything.  Alcohol, friends, family, drugs, animals, work, school, boys, the past, etc.  I treasured those times with them. 
One time we took the oldest step-daughter to an appointment at Remington College.  She was checking into their Dental Assistant program.  On the way there, I-35W was blocked off because of a very serious/deadly wreck.  Little did I know that I-35W was going to be blocked off on our way home!!  What should have taken us maybe an hour to get home, actually took us 3-4 hours!!  BUT!  It was an adventure with the three girls!  We had to try to figure a way home.  The gps was not cooperating.  My hubby was not answering his phone.  It was an adventure for sure!! 
I would joke often about being a chauffer to the girls.  I fussed about the price of gasoline.  (It's ridiculously high.)  But again, I treasured those times with the girls. 
I AM BLESSED!!!
Keep Smiling!! :)

July 13, 2011 Devotional

"Then the Lord said to Moses" Exodus 31:12

That's it.  That is the whole verse.  But it speaks volumes!!  Think about it!  "Then the Lord SAID to Moses".  The Lord was speaking directly to Moses.  One on one.  They carried on a conversation together.  Of course, not face-to-face.  If Moses had looked upon the face of God, he would die.  But still, they spoke to each other.  How beautiful and wonderfully awesome is THAT?! 
I hope and pray that one day I will be blessed to have a conversation with God.
I AM BLESSED!
Keep Smiling!! :)

Wandering & Lost

Luke 15:10¹⁰ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

One day Ethel had puppies.  She had them under the bunk house....or you can call it a shed.
One day my husband was on the porch and he heard the puppies.  So, he looked through the cracks of the porch and he saw one of the puppies.  It was black and white spotted.  Then he called me so I could go look at the puppy.
The next day my hubby got the puppy out from under the porch and found another black and white spotted puppy.  He brought them both in the house, then brought Ethel into the house.  Ethel nursed them and wanted back outside.  My hubby watched her and he saw that she went back under the bunk house. 
This time he listened hard and he heard noises at the back of the bunk house.  Puppy noises!  So he crawled under the back of the bunk house and found three more puppies!  One who had brown spots and two who looked like Ethel.  He brought the other three puppies into the house. 
The two puppies who scooted away from the rest of the litter, their brothers and sisters, reminded me of people.  These puppies had their eyes shut, so their world was dark.  They left their family, they wandered away.
Sometimes people will shut their eyes to Jesus, and to the light, the knowledge and love He gives them.  They wander away from their family and from Jesus into a world of sin, of darkness.
Ethel kept going to her wandering puppies, taking care of them, trying to keep them with the family.  Jesus keeps going after people lost in the darkness of sin, loving them, caring for them, wanting them back in His family.
Jesus is awesome.
I AM BLESSED.
Keep Smiling!!  :)

Marijuana/Alcohol

1 Samuel 15:22
But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
To be honest, I'm not sure how connected this little blog will be.  I wrote down my notes a few months ago, then never had a chance to get on here and write it out.  But... here goes.

Who would have ever thought I would blog about marijuana?!  Have I ever used it?  NO.  But I have known plenty of people who have.  Have I ever wanted to use it?  NO.  I have seen the results.  It alters the person's behavior - which means it affects the brain.  There is someone dear to me who used to drink and do drugs.  He would be mean while on drugs - including marijuana, and mellow when drunk.  Wow.  It altered his behavior.  Imagine that. 

I understand that it can relax a person, help them chill, etc.  Just as alcohol does.  But there are many more ways to "chill" and/or "relax" than using either.  Marijuana and/or alcohol is often a gateway for stronger drugs.  Those using them are looking for a "better high".  Lives are lost, families are ripped apart, people are homeless - most because of their addiction.

Addiction.  Some people can handle more than others.  Everyone is different.  Then there are those who take one drink - they become an alcoholic, or, smoke one joint - they are addicted.  There are social drinkers and there are social smokers.  It depends on whether the person has an addictive personality and/or if addictions are prevalent in the family.  Do you think that someone just decides to become addicted?  "Oh, I think I'll become addicted today to....".  No. That's not how it happens. It can be progressive.  Don't try to tell me it's not harmful.  Tell the friends of mine who are now dead....those who started out with smoking joints and then went on to "bigger and better" drugs.  Tell the friends of mine who are dead....those who started drinking with their buddies, became alcoholics, spent time in jail and then ended up dead because of drinking and driving.  Tell the friends of mine who are still alive.... and now addicted to crack, heroin, coke, etc.... and either on the streets selling their bodies or spending time in prison.  Tell my friend who is now a crack whore, who lost every one of her children....who started smoking weed. 

An argument FOR marijuana is "marijuana is natural".  Yes, it is.  So is poison ivy.  Do you want to smoke that? 

Another argument is a lot of smart people smoke weed.  Sure a lot of smart  people smoke weed.  Smart people also drink alcohol.  But, you cannot say that they do not harm the body.  It is a proven scientific fact that marijuana and alcohol do kill off brain cells.  Imagine how smart these "smart people" would be if they didn't use weed or didn't drink.  In fact, someone super dear to me told me a few months ago that a young lady we knew used to be very smart, but she smoked too much weed.  Wait.... USED TO BE?  SMOKED TOO MUCH WEED?  The person who told me this used to smoke it himself and would love to again.   

I have a question:  Should pregnant or nursing women smoke or drink when pregnant or nursing?  No.  Why?  Because the baby ingests it.  It's harmful.  Well, if it's harmful to the baby, then it's harmful to the mother.  By the way, this was a question I posed to someone who is PRO marijuana use.  SHE was the one who said no.

People who want to use it think that marijuana (and/or alcohol) are okay.  They will always come up with arguments to justify their use.  But that doesn't make it okay.  "Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words." Proverbs 23:9

Diabetes

A little boy came into the office with his dad one day.  He was about 4 years old.  Cute as can be.  He asked his dad something, his dad told him no.  So, the little guy turned to me and said, "Do you have any good candy?" His dad looked up from the paperwork he was filling out and said, "He has diabetes.  He knows that is 'bad' candy to him."

"Oh," I said.  Then I looked at the little boy and said, "No, I'm sorry, sweetie.  We don't have any 'good' candy."  He accepted the answer, then proceeded to talk about other things. 

This was the day after I went to the doctor with Heather.  I'm not going to go into details about the doctor's visit.  Let's just say I learned a few facts.  I knew a few things, but I have a LOT more to learn.

I worked closely with a diabetic for nine years.  I am working closely with one now, and have been for four years.  Someone dear to me is a diabetic.  These three are adults.  They all "follow the rules" regarding their diet.  A nicer way to put it is: they follow the dietary guidelines.

I can't imagine living with diabetes.  Especially Type 1.  Maybe if a person is diagnosed as a young child it wouldn't be as difficult because it would be "normal" for them.

But, what about being diagnosed when a teenager?  An older teenager?  Say, around 16 or 17 yrs old?  Up to that time being able to eat and drink whatever, and however much he/she wants?  Then.... BAM!!!  Being told "You have Type 1 Diabetes."  Talk about a lifestyle change.

    1.  Medicines daily - possibly several shots daily.
    2.  Monitor blood sugar - i.e. prick finger several times a day.
    3.  Major changes in eating habits.
    4.  Lots more doctor visits.
    5.  That thought "I'm a diabetic" hanging over you like a sword.
    6.  The realization, "I have to live this way forever."
    7.  The fear, "I can't have fun anymore" or "I can't have a normal life anymore".

There are severe consequences if a person refuses to take active control of their health: coma, blindness, dialysis, neuropathy, heart attacks, death.....  That is just a few.

You know kids and teenagers.  Coke and a candy bar - they are set.  (Yes, adults too!)  Or, just grab a snack - no matter what it is or what time it is.  Hanging out with friends, munch out, or it's "Woo-hoo!  Pizza!".  Carefree.  No worries.  But, not for a diabetic.

Now, I realize that the snacks, munchies, etc, are not that healthy.  If you're going to snack, it should be something healthy, like veggies or fruit, regardless of your age.  Some kids/teens do eat healthy snacks.  But even with fruit, diabetics have to be careful.  Think about it: fruit is sweet.  It has natural sugars.  They may be "complex sugars", but the bottom line is, they are "sugars".  Something to be careful with, and to monitor. 

Sugar.  Nobody should pig out on sugar.  It's not healthy regardless of who you are.  Can we say "empty calories"?  Can we say "bad for your teeth"?  What about just bad for your body altogether?  Except the taste buds.

But wait!  Sugar isn't the only thing diabetics have to be careful with.  Pasta, rice, bread, potatoes, corn, etc.  These are starches, carbs.  They break down and turn into sugar.  Carbs -> starches -> sugars.  Maybe it's starches -> carbs -> sugars.  But you get the point.  It's better to eat whole wheat pasta, brown rice, whole grain bread, etc. 

Have you considered how expensive it is eating healthy?  It is.  I know it's better to purchase the whole grains, etc.  But for those who are financially strapped, it's often not feasible. 

I understand it's not as though it's cancer, or multiple sclerosis, or ......  True.  But for someone who is just diagnosed, or who doesn't want to accept the diagnosis, or doesn't see that life goes on and can be complete and fulfilling, it's like a death knell.

Oh!  And yes!  Life DOES go on.  It can be fulfilling, successful, rich in love and happiness.  Because, life is as you make it.  Why not make it the best, and most healthy, it can be?

I AM BLESSED!!

Keep Smiling!! :)

The Clothes Our Girls Wear

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Think about the girls/woman you see, at the store, the park, work, school, etc.  Wherever you are, wherever you go.  There are those who dress modestly, suggestively, becomingly, provocatively, outlandishly, etc.  There are MANY ways females dress. 

Now, I realize that the above Scripture is addressed towards wives, but don't you think it's applicable for all females to dress according to that Scripture?

I have daughters and nieces.  I also know several other young ladies whom I care about.  I've told my girls that they need to think about the image they are projecting when they get dressed.  If they show a lot of cleavage, or barely cover their bottoms, what is their appearance saying? 

Let's say a girl wears a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage.  A guy looks at her, approaches her and talks to her.  I can almost guarantee that he is not thinking about her in a "Oh, she looks like a nice girl.  I'd like to get to know her" kind of way.  Nope.  He's looking at her as a sex object, a piece of meat.  If a young lady is trying to attact a man, she needs to think: does she want a guy who will use her and throw her away, or does she want a guy who cares about her as a person, who is interested in more than just what he can get from her?   

Girls need to understand that dressing provocatively DETRACTS from their real beauty.  In fact, dressing provocatively makes them look trashy.  I don't want MY girls dressing like slut puppies.  I want them to dress becomingly, with modesty.  They need to understand they can dress to enhance their real beauty without showing their bodies. 

But you know what really gets me?  The mothers who take their daughters shopping and buys them the slutty outfits.  WHAT are these mothers thinking?!  What are they teaching their daughters?!  I'm sorry, but I just want to knock these mothers upside the head and tell them "Get a grip!  What about teaching your daughter how to dress decently instead of like a little hooker?!"

All girls need a big brother like the one my girls have.  He wants his sisters to dress with propriety.  He jokes around in the summer with them "You better put a parka on over that bikini!".  But he's not joking when he tells them their shorts are too short, or their dress is too short, or they are not leaving the house wearing "that shirt".  He loves his sisters and he knows how guys think. 

Just a few thoughts....
I AM BLESSED!!!  Keep Smiling!! :)

Temple of God

Because I drank some coffee today, I decided to write about our body as the temple of God.  You know the Scripture:  1 Corinthians 3:16-17:  "Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple."  Please forgive my ramblings, but here I go.....

Do we want the Holy Spirit to dwell in us?  Think about what can defile your body - inside and outside. 

When I think about how we defile our bodies, so many things come to mind.  Sure there are the obvious ways of alcohol, drugs, tobacco or an immoral lifestyle.  These each harm the body.
We are not supposed to tattoo our bodies.  Lev. 19:28: “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD."  Am I judging those who do?  NO!  I have seen some pretty awesome tattoos!  I'm just including this issue. 
So, am I pointing fingers? Nope - not towards others.  If you see someone smoking, with a bunch of tattoos, what are you thinking?  Think about it....  You don't know the person (whether it's a male or female)...what are you thinking?  What if you can smell alcohol on them?  What if it is a female with an extremely low cut top, tattoos, smell of cigarette smoke and/or alcohol?  What are you thinking?  Are you judging them?  Do you know their heart?  Do you know their mind?  Do you know their life history?   
Our thoughts can most definitely defile us.  That is why we really need to fill our minds with Scripture, such as Phil 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." and Eph 4:23: "to be made new in the attitude of your minds."
What about the words we speak?  They can defile us.  They can make us look (and sound) dirty, cheap, and for those wanting to be Christian, un-Christ-like.  Eph. 5:1-7: "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them."  Instead, this is what we should do, Eph. 5:19-20: "speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
I read these words and I see how I fail God time and again, and that's just with my thoughts and my words!
What about defiling the temple of God with what, or how much, we eat?  Proverbs 23:2: "and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony." 1 Cor 6:9-10: "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." ...  Food is good, but not too much food.  Think about this:  there are many diseases linked to the food we eat.  Heart disease, cancer, diabetes...just to name a few.  Get my point?
What about caffiene?  You do realize it's a drug, don't you?  Especially for me!  I don't need to do coke to get a "high".  Just give me a cup of coffee and I'm wired.  So, if I can get "high" from caffiene, why would I need to try illegal drugs?!  I definitely "crash" when the caffiene wears down.  While on that high, my brain goes 90 miles a minute.  I think I'm more creative.  I definitely talk more - and faster.  But I also make more mistakes and forget things.  It short circuits my brain.  Then there is the crash:  depression, irritability, jitters, headache, etc.  What about the toll it takes on the body?  The blood pressure going up, the heart racing, etc.  So, if it's not good for the body, wouldn't you say it DEFILES the body? 
Just some thoughts....
I AM BLESSED!!!  Keep Smiling!!  :)

Notes from Genesis

I have a morning devotional every morning.  This was from January 6, 2011...

Scripture:  "Arise, raise up the youth and support him with your hand, for I intend to make him a great nation." Genesis 12:18

My thoughts:  Hagar had put Ishmael under a bush to die because she ran out of food and water.  Then the Angel came and spoke to her this verse (among others).  This verse has several (or could have several) meanings.  It could be saying, "Help him up because he is weak".  Or, it could be saying, "You're going to raise your son to adulthood.  You are going to work to support him."  After all, she was a single mother now.  Check out the promise at the end of the verse: Ishmael was going to be a "great nation".  Don't you know that gave her hope?! 

Okay, so now it's May 14th.  As I read my notes I thought of something else.  For many years I was a single mother.  There were a few times I was low on food, but I always knew that God would provide.  Even if it was just beans, macaroni and oatmeal, we always had food.  Not only that, but our bills were paid.  God provided.  What does Scripture say?  Phil 4:19: "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.".  He met all of our needs.  And He still does. 

I AM BLESSED!!     Keep Smiling  :)

The Mini-Adventure of Going to Tucson

My hubby took my sister and me to DFW. We were looking for the correct place for him to drop us off.  I see "U" and think it is US Airways, so I tell him to drop us off. He does and leaves. Well, it isn't. It is United Airlines. So my sister and I walk to US Airways. It isn't too far, really.
We get in line to get our boarding pass and find out that they were downsizing flights and switched us to American Airlines. That is okay... That is my favorite airline. Even better, it would be a non-stop flight. But to get to American Airlines we had to go upstairs and wait for the skylink. Have you ever ridden the skylink? I have not. I loved it! I wanted to do it again!
We didn't have our seat numbers, so we went to the counter to check in and get them. Good thing we did. That flight was overbooked. We were assigned two seats on the very back row. We had a few hours to wait, so we ate lunch. (I got to see the Rangers hit a couple of homeruns.)
We finally boarded the plane and got our seats. I was in the middle, my sister had an aisle seat. A man from Ghana had the window seat. He has been in the States for 3 years. He has lived in Maryland, California and Texas. I couldn't hear him when he said why he was in the States due to the noise of the engine. Oh yes, the engine was right out the window. So,,, I didn't get to see any scenery as we were flying. Grrrr. Anyway, I told him my son was raising money to go on a mission trip to Tanzania and he said that my son should enjoy it. He said people there are very hospitable, very warm. Also, it is very relaxed there.  He was very nice to visit with on the airplane.
Anyway, we hit some turbulence flying into Arizona. I told my sister it was better than Six Flags! It really wasn't bad.
When we landed, we had to find the car rental place.  It was another little walk.  The ticket agent asked if I wanted to pay for a full tank of gas.  She told me the cost and what it is per gallon.  I thought it sounded like a good deal.  I found out when I returned the car that it really wasn't that great of a deal.  Seriously.  If you ever rent a car, don't pay for the full tank of gas.  Just put gas in it yourself. 
From there, it was on to the hotel.  I had taken my GPS with me, and I am most thankful I did!!  It got us around Tuscson as though we had lived there forever!  We relaxed at the hotel for a bit, then went to eat at Denny's.  Then back to the hotel to rest/sleep.
Monday morning we went to the zoo.  The zoo had some huge turtles!  My  hubby had mentioned wanting a big turtle, so I took a picture with my phone and sent it to him.  I sent him a message and suggested I sneak it out and ride it home.  Of course, it might take me about 9 mo to get home....  He told me to do it!
After we got back to the hotel, my older brother and his son met us there.  We went to Dad's memorial service in his car.  It was a beautiful service.  There was also a Military salute, since Dad was in the Navy. 
Then back to the hotel to change clothes.  From there, we went to my dad & step-mom's house to visit with the family.  I hadn't seen one of my step-sisters since I was about 5 years old.  I met her husband, two children and three grandchildren.  My other step-sister I hadn't seen since 1989.  I met her granddaughter.  We all had a wonderful visit.
My sister and I returned on Tuesday.  We arrived at DFW at 11:00 AM. 
I am so thankful I went to the memorial service.....
I am blessed.

Mourning

Life is a beautiful thing.  Even when there are painful times, life is still a beautiful thing.  But with life, comes death.  With death, comes a time to mourn. 

There are so many ways to mourn.  Some people hold it in.  Some cry for days.  Some get sick.  Some people do not even acknowledge the death of a loved one.  So many different ways. 

I guess it depends on the person. 

Take me for instance.  The first time I really remember mourning was when my mom passed away.  I was almost 17 yrs old.  First I had the warning.  My big brother told me on a Sunday that my mom would not be coming home from the hospital.  We were doing dishes at the time.  I finished doing the dishes, then went next door to my best friend's house.  She answered the door and could tell something was wrong.  I blurted out that my mom was dying.  She was there for me.  For the next couple of weeks my appetite was off.  (Which was good.  I could definitely afford to lose a few pounds! Lol.)  Anyway, she died that Friday.  We had the viewing on the following Tuesday, then the Memorial Service the following Saturday.  There were times I had to be by myself.  Once we were going through my mom's stuff.  All of a sudden, I jumped up and went to my closet.  I hid there.  My big brother was going to come after me, but my younger brother told him to leave me alone.  Even now, 29 yrs later, I still have little episodes of mourning my mom.

Then one of my bosses died.  I was especially close to him.  He was kind of like a dad.  I found out that the ambulance was at his house, so I drove over there.  When I got there, a friend shook his head at me, letting me know my boss had passed away.  I went in and hugged the wife, a very dear, sweet lady.  When I left there, I immediately drove to my youngest daughter's dad's house.  He asked what was up and I just started bawling.  He held me while I cried.  I miss him.  He was a good boss and friend.

A friend of mine had a toddler who died.  A precious little girl.  I was fine until the day of the service.  Before the service started I walked outside for a bit.  My daughter's dad was with me and I cried.  I cried for the parents.  I cried because a precious little child died so young.  I hurt for that young mother. 

One of my nieces died.  It was a shock.  She had an aneurysm.  I don't cry at funerals, but seeing my sister's pain nearly did me in.  I told her I can handle anything except seeing her cry.  That just tears me up.

Today I am mourning the loss of my dad.  I was warned that it could be soon.  Two days later he died.  That happened eight days ago.  When I first heard the news on the phone, I cried.  My hubby was there and he held me.  (That was very comforting.  I am so glad he was there when I heard.)  After that, I thought I was fine.  Ha.  Little did I know!  When I told my supervisor, I choked up.  Each person I've told since, I tear up.  If I talk about his DEATH, I now start to cry.  Believe it or not, I am not a "cryer".  I don't like sympathy because it will make me cry more.

I realize that tears can bring healing, but finding the time and place to do it.... Well, that's the issue!  I can tell you when and where NOT to do it.  That would be at the office!!!  We will not discuss that!!

Anyway, the memorial service isn't until April 4th.  I believe that having the service will give closure.  I just hope I am not a complete basket case by then! 

I am thankful for family and friends who are loving me and praying me through this.  I am most thankful to my God who put these people in my life.  I AM BLESSED.

My Dad

For two weeks I kept telling myself, "I need to call Dad."  But, then I would forget.  I never made that call.  Then on Sunday, March 13th, my step-sister called.  When Pam calls, it's not good news.  She told me that Dad's health was deteriorating.  In the past two weeks he had been in the hospital, then in a nursing home, then the hospital, then the nursing home.  He had been living at home with my step-mom caring for him up until TWO WEEKS AGO. 
Why did I capitalize "two weeks ago"?  Because, for two weeks I had been telling myself I needed to call Dad, but didn't.  I believe God stopped me from calling Dad because Dad wasn't at home.  My step-mom wouldn't have been home to answer the calls, or might have been too flustered to talk.  To top it all off, my step-mom (and step-sister) came down with the flu during this same time period. 
Anyway, back to that call.  Pam said it wasn't looking good.  Dad's heart was only 15% alive, you see.  Plus, he was 80 years old.  He had Alzheimers.  When I said my step-mom had been caring for him, I meant: she had been caring for him.  Doing everything for him, basically.  Dad had gotten sick, then he had a little heart attack.  So, it wasn't looking good.  It could be anytime....
Pam and I talked about Dad.  I told her that Dad had been blessed.  He married a wonderful lady (her mom) who absolutely adored Dad and made him happy.  Dad had his four biological children, whom he loved very much, plus three step-daughters, who loved him and whom he loved.  He lived longer than HIS dad did.  Also longer than his brother did.  Pam reminded me that he lived thirty years after his quadruple bypass.  Plus he had a triple bypass after that, and I don't know what, or how many other, procedures. 
I said my step-mom adored Dad.  She did.  Mary praised my dad.  She said he was a good, honorable, loving, kind man.  She refused to hear anyone speak against Dad.  She said he was the best patient.  So good.  So happy.  She loved my dad. 
My dad.  Daddy.  My parents divorced when I was very young.  Dad wasn't home much before then because he was in the Navy.  I have very few memories of him at home.  I do remember one.  I was brushing his hair with my brush!  My favorite story that my mother told me was one that took place when I was six weeks old. 
I was born with bilateral club feet.  To "fix" my feet, they had to break them and then put casts on them.  It took my mom, my sister and two nurses to hold me down.  I was 6 weeks old!!  Anyway, after a very tiring evening at the doctor's office, Mom pulls into the driveway.  The lights in the house are on, which surprises Mom.  My dad stepped out of the house.  I think my mom said she started crying.  Either my sister or my brother was holding me.  My dad reached out his arms, my sibling put me in his arms.  I woke up and looked at him with (as my mother put it) my big brown eyes and my dad said, "How's my little princess?".  I smiled.  I believe that was the first time we met because my dad was on board the USS Ticonderoga when I was born.
As I said, my parents divorced when I was very young.  I missed my daddy.  When he came to pick us up for a visit, I would run to him.  I always wanted to hold his hand.  I sooooo loved my daddy.  And I missed him.  I didn't know him very well, but, I missed him.  I wanted my daddy.  I used to cry at night for my daddy.  I didn't get to see him very often.  When I became a teenager, I really wanted to live with my dad.  Things weren't that great at home.  But it didn't happen.  Then my mom got cancer.  Close to the end, she asked me to live with my brother when she died, not with my dad. I promised.  Besides, I was going to be a Senior in High School. 
So, when Dad asked me to come live with him, I said no.  Years later I found out that he cried after he left.  That hurts.  Also, years later, I found out that he was going to try to get custody of us, but was stopped.  I'm not going to go into why he didn't fight.... This little blog is not to bash anyone. 
I did visit him after I "grew up".  Several times.  Each time I got to know him, and my step-mom, better.  I so enjoyed visiting them.  I also enjoyed seeing the love they shared.  The visits were always wonderful.  Dad visited us, in Texas, once on his own.  Another time, he and Mary came to visit.  We all enjoyed both of those visits. 
In December 2009 my dad had a heart attack.  We thought we were going to lose him.  I wanted to go see him, but things were tight.  My hubby suggested I try to win a trip from KSCS.  So, I entered the contest and said why I wanted to fly to Arizona to see my dad.  I received a phone call from Hawkeye and Terry Dorsey of KSCS.  I won a trip.  I am sooo glad I did.  I saw my dad and step-mom at Christmas.  Dad actually got better.  He was able to go home.  Yay!! 
I would call Pam and/or Mary occasionally to check on Dad and Mary.  Pam has been wonderful.  Honestly.  She has her own family to care for, but she has been such a blessing and a help for Dad & Mary.  Mary should be super proud to have Pam for a daughter. 
Today I kept looking at my cell phone while I was at work.  I kept expecting a phone call.  I just had that "feeling".  This evening after supper my phone rang, but it was "Name Withheld".  So, I didn't answer it.  Then I listened to the voicemail.  It was Pam, asking me to call.  I immediately called her and she gently told me that Dad had passed away, quietly, peacefully, in his sleep.  She told me how sorry she was.  Bless her heart, she was hurting as much, if not more than I was!  Dad actually passed away a litte after midnight.  They were supposed to call her immediately, but waited until morning.  She didn't want to call me at work.  She wanted me to be home, where I could have privacy, so she waited until this evening to call.
My daddy, Robert Eugene Meyer, passed away.  He is resting.  Asleep.  At peace.
Born: May 7, 1930.  Died: March 15, 2011.   

My brain

Despite all beliefs to the contrary, I do have a brain.  I have had 2 MRI's done.  One was done in 1994, the other was done in 2008.  The doctors confirmed what I saw on the MRI film.  I have a brain.  Now as to whether or not I use that brain... well, that's up to me!
Lately, though, I haven't been able to use my brain.  I think I overloaded it.  There is so much in there, and  it is apparently pea-size, so it tends to snarl up as though a rat made a nest in it.  Seriously.  Have you heard me speak?!  Words do not come out right, or do not come out at all.  I'm searching for words.  Thankfully, I have people around me who are able to fill in the blanks when I can't latch onto the word out that I'm looking for. 
Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?  I am used to having a creative mind.  One that could write letters or stories or poems.  One that could fill in the blanks for others.  Never at a loss for words! 
Then there are those times that my brain is going ninety to nothing and all of a sudden I think "I need to write all of this down RIGHT NOW because if I don't, it will be gone and lost forever!"  Guess what?  As soon as I grab pen and paper, it's gone. 
What do I want to start blogging about?  My love for my family.  My love for God.  My love for the Bible.  My thoughts on verses in the Bible.  Different things....  Things that frustrate me because of the injustice...  I actually do have a list started.  Subjects:
1.  Who would Jesus be friends with?
2.  Caffeine.
3.  Hagar.
4. Prison Ministry.
5. Parent/Friend.
I thought of these as I drove down the road.  I wrote them on a piece of paper.  I can't believe I can read what I wrote.  Hey... at least I wasn't texting...
I just read what I wrote "There is so much in there"....  I am laughing.  That sounds so, I don't know, conceited?  I meant I have a lot on my mind.  All of the time. 
There is one thing I always have on my mind.  I AM BLESSED. 
Keep Smiling!!  :)